CaringBridge Blog Day 2

Made it through the first night…
They (as in the wonderful nursing staff) check my vitals every 4 hours. Even at night.
Sleep is sparse. Lets be real, I cant see getting comfortable in this bed anytime soon so I make the best out of it. Slept a few hours in between check ups. TV stays on for the most part. I keep checking to see how Ashley is holding up on her tiny little recliner / “fold out bed” ??
Machine sounds are like baby white noise until the alarm starts screaming because fluids are low and need changed, etc. Of course its always right before you reach that REM sleep. But I suppose I am just looking for things to complain about because other than that there really is nothing much else.
Pain is tolerable. Still a bit tender from the central line but overall still nothing to cry about.
2 AM vital check also came with a bag of Zofran in preparation for first dose of chemotherapy and the nausea side effects that accompanies typically. The nurses do a great job in telling you what each medication is for and ask if you have any questions that they can answer before they start.
6:00 AM we started FIRST CHEMOTHERAPY treatment ever. Jeeez… sounds soooo crazy to hear that. I know im not the first person ever to have chemo but its a word that definitely gives you that super cold feeling throughout your bones and skin and body and etc  etc etc.   W E I R D… that’s my word for mostly everything lately. WEIRD.
“Not as bad as I thought tho.”
At least for now.
I always wondered what the whole process of getting chemo was like, so maybe I can help be as descriptive as possible…
First treatment took a little over 3 hours from start to finish. Its just a bag of clear fluid that basically just looks like water. You cant feel it going in any different from saline or any other fluids for that matter. It doesn’t leave a taste in your mouth or anything like that. goes straight into the 17ga lumen on the powerline. another lumen stays hooked up to fluids the entire time. the bag says chemotherapy all over it. the whole process is a dramatic production in itself. the nurses have to wear these big blue paper gowns that protect them from the chemicals. they have to cover my skin where they hook up to the lumen. crazy to think they are so protective with this stuff getting ON your skin. imagine what it does to the inside?!?!?!
I did sleep for a good 2 hours straight. Like a hard sleep. Didn’t even wake up when they came in a few times. Not sure if that is fatigue due to chemo or just overall exhaustion from going non-stop for the past 2 weeks. didnt realize how much I do for everyone else and when im gone its hard for me to let go. shit really wears you out.
Meals aren’t bad. Decent food and the dietician comes by at least once a day to discuss menu options and also what snacks I would like to keep in the room. They want me getting into the habit of eating frequently as further chemo treatments will really start eating away at me slowly.
So after todays treatment they had to run labs for 6 hours straight. Those bloods get sent out of state where tests are run within 24 hours to determine the dosages for the next few days of chemo. This place knows whats its doing and doing a damn good job at it that’s for sure.
They do keep reminding me that its only going to get harder and im only going to get more sick. I will get sick. I will get sick. I will get sick…. WEIRD…. Been trying to stay active and walking around. Again, im not feeling much of anything now but I cant lose focus or positivity that this is something that I can overcome because I am bigger than this and I have waaaaaaaaay too much that is great in my life for me to give in and not be strong.
Im trying to not think of how many days are left here but rather how soon I get to go home. Its like summer vacation from school only in this scenario I am stuck at home and cant go out and play. I do get lots of snacks and unlimited TV time. So that is always a plus!!
By now I have read most of the responses from everyone and I appreciate everyone thinking of me. I really want everyone to know that I am NOT SCARED of this. Not one bit. Ive done crazier things than this that could’ve resulted in death. I don’t want anyone to feel bad or sorry for me, this is an amazing once in a lifetime opportunity that is going to save my life. So please, be happy, don’t cry, ill be back to my goofy self soon. My hair will grow back and ill be back to work before you know it!!
So, first day of chemo out of the way. Cant wait to tackle round 2!!