CaringBridge Blog Day 4

Today was a test for sure.
Got a small sample of nausea which only goes to show that the chemo is doing its job. Nurses area still great. Haven’t had the same one twice yet, the staff is always shifting around and working together.
I did watch the rising sun during. todays treatment. Nothing crazy new with treatment. Definitely stick to same protocol every time. No more special feeling about it, all the romance is gone. Im no longer weirded out as this is my new routine.
Really felt nauseous all day. From about 9am on I started feeling groggy. Comes as an urge to pee then the pressure doesn’t leave and you feel yourself starting to gag. Im glad I didn’t eat much aside from the bland chicken noodle soup. Nothing seems appetizing still as I don’t really want to eat it now and throw it up in a few hours. Just cant get that to sound pleasant. I keep thinking how its going to taste coming back up. I cant let that divert my attention to the real problem but definitely sucks feeling ill.  Really nothing I can take outside of what they give me. they avoid Tylenol for pain as they have to really watch what they put in the body as they are killing the immune system.
Todays entry will be a bit on the dry side as not much really played out today.
Ashley stayed the night and was able to watch another chemo treatment this morning. She cant sit still either. Always seeing if I need anything. Making sure I eat, making sure I drink. Even started cleaning up and disinfecting my entire hospital room.
By 9am I was feeling sick to my stomach. Had to ask them for some barf bags in case I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time. Because they keep monitoring my fluids means they have to mark down how much I vomit each time. Again, they making sure that my organs stay functional during all chemotherapy treatments.
Was able to get a larger TV in my room that they said I could use to hook up a gaming console to. So I pulled the old PS3 out and dusted it off. Was able to play a few minutes of skateboarding. I mean its really not THAT exciting but at least its something else that will help pass time.
I also did get some pictures of the boys from home that I keep on the sink next to my toothpaste. Definitely helps without being able to see them as often as I had before and plus they are such cute kids the nurses have no problem with talking or asking about them and how I am holding up.
I did sleep a lot today. Mostly cause its comes along with the nausea pills as a side effect but ill take it. I get so drowsy I can barely hear them come in to check vitals. Either that or im still so exhausted still that I cant keep my eyes open half the time.
As active as I stay and my healthy eating habits over the past few years I figured would give me an advantage in here and I feel like it has. Its just so weird to see my body change daily. I can tell im losing my brownish/olive skin tone and its becoming more green. Losing a lot of water from my body as my wedding band keeps coming off my finger on its own. Still have not noticed any significant hair loss from anywhere yet. I know its going to happen at some point tho so I wont be too excited once that time comes. Been doing some stretching and walking around the room throughout the day. Havent lost too much weight and they weigh me daily now.
Showering process takes about 20 minutes just to wrap up my chest and keep water out from getting all over my chest incision. Daily showers, daily walks and multiple daily oral care of some sort. A lot of teeth brushing and solution swishing etc.
Hoping I can keep this amount of energy up on a daily basis. Its really easy into giving in and feel weak and sorry for yourself. I know that when I throw up etc, that feeling isn’t forever. The real hard part only last 10-15 mins then your body recovers and you just walk I out. I have small pep talks with myself that remind me this wont be forever. If I stay overall healthy through all of this I might have to stay only 3 more weeks total. That’s a long shot but If I have a goal to shoot for I think its possible.
Kind of had these brief seconds of clarity today and started writing some stuff down. Did do much else but sleep. So this is where I leave you today. Im tired again and falling asleep as I type. SO until we chat next….